good effert 9/10wordytomReport 2008-10-26 17:15:47Too gimicky. The “D” was pure hoke. ass porn If yours was crap I would have moved on and not bothered. 3 comments«1»aceofhartsReport 2008-10-27 07:55:27Excellent story!!!!! Though i did get lost a few times along the way i believe this was to do with the lack of detail and description of there settings. Right now you are trying to be clever. a simple story line whould have worked much better. i was definatly captured all the way to the end. WordytomvtsReport 2008-10-26 06:29:19great story, more please«1» a simple story line whould have worked much better. WordytomvtsReport 2008-10-26 06:29:19great story, more please«1» Don’t be clever until you first become a writer. I also agree with wordytom… If yours was crap I would have moved on and not bothered. If yours was crap I would have moved on and not bothered. WordytomvtsReport 2008-10-26 06:29:19great story, more please«1» WordytomvtsReport 2008-10-26 06:29:19great story, more please«1» Right now you are trying to be clever. WordytomvtsReport 2008-10-26 06:29:19great story, more please«1» WordytomvtsReport 2008-10-26 06:29:19great story, more please«1» Though i did get lost a few times along the way i believe this was to do with the lack of detail and
