Clenched fists, thumbs in, make room, then wrists turned inwards and work the hands out. Anal sex She wondered if anyone could tell. No appetite. Cars still raced underneath her infrequently, it had gotten colder and goosebumps stood out on her arms in sharp relief. She felt transparent. She’d handled it. Door locked, she left. A car pulls over and she half sits, half falls into the seat, mumbles the name of her city. It was just like all the other times. Without letting herself think too much about it, she pulled a long cable tie from her pocket and fashioned a loop, wincing every time it snicked another notch. and then she’d have to bite her lip until she got the shakes under control. Looking down at her hands to see bright red blood dripping from raw wounds around her wrists. Face straining with effort. Had she forgotten it, or had she been eliminating all possible safety nets? She wondered if anyone could tell. Walking around in public felt dangerous, she covered up, baggy jeans and a sloppy jumper with nothing on underneath, every time the wind gusted it
