The basic premise is a bit off for a supposed “true story” as well. Anal porn Who is she? On the other hand, you’ve mentioned that this is a true story… The basic premise is a bit off for a supposed “true story” as well. The basic premise is a bit off for a supposed “true story” as well. But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.«1» 2 comments«1»Ovid58Report 2012-11-12 06:07:23I didn’t vote, since I don’t want to spoil your ranking – anyway, please be more careful – just as the anonymous reader has already said, you switch between third person and first person in a way that really makes things hard to follow… Overall, not bad for a first submission. He shares a bed with her when he’s not relegated to the couch- but is a virgin? He shares a bed with her when he’s not relegated to the couch- but is a virgin? But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.«1» It’s not quite wall of text, you did break it up after the first long paragraph. Who is she? But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.«1»
